This article provides a transcript for an episode of Back to the Future: The Animated Series. It is intended to be used as a resource from which quotations can be easily located.
The Transcript
INT. Doc's Workshop - Day
The lab appears to be empty.
Doc: Let's see... electrical current?
Assistant voice: Electrical current flowing.
Doc: Optical input?
Assistant voice: All optics functional.
Doc comes into frame, adjusting the camera.
Doc: Focus, for 3.27 metres - the distance preferred by most leading television personalities.
The camera cuts to static briefly, before turning on again to show Doc standing in the center of the room.
Doc: Greetings. Dr. Emmett L. Brown here, creator of the overjog mechanical running shorts, the deep-thought mind-reading helmet, and perhaps my most important invention, the flux capacitor!
He turns the camera to show the flux capacitor.
Doc: A device which allows me to travel through time the way most people drive across town! And with a lot less traffic!
Verne: Hey pop! Watch this!
The camera falls over and cuts to a Doc Brown version of the Indian-head test pattern.
Assistant voice: One moment please. We are experiencing technical difficulties.
The camera turns back on as Doc finishes fixing its position.
Doc: I mean it, Verney! No more pogo sticks in the laboratory!
He turns back to the camera.
Doc: My son, Verney! Now, where were we? Ah yes, my experiment. Jules, the older of my two offspring, has assisted me in the assembly of this. A simple yet fully operational electromagnet. In the interests of accuracy, this is not the first occasion on which Jules and I have constructed such a device.
He goes to get a book, and opens it.
Doc: Let's see... ah, yes. The year was 1864...
INT. Brown Laboratory
Marty is playing the guitar loudly.
Holographic Tutor: As the union blockade took effect, the south, which was mostly agricultural, found itself to be running dangerously low on supplies...
There is an explosion and the tutor 'jumps for cover', ending the hologram. Doc emerges from the smoke.
Doc: Great Scott!
Marty: Uh, what happened?
Doc: Why didn't I realise this before?
Marty: Wh- what, Doc, what?
Doc: Always take the aluminum foil off your burrito before you put it in the microwave! Which brings me to the question... what's the biggest problem with the new DeLorean?
Marty: 15 on the highway, 12 in the city?
Doc: False! If you park it on the street, it's bound to get ripped off.
Marty: Well, sure, because it's a time machine.
Doc: Because it's a DeLorean! These things are collectors' items. However, watch this!
He pulls a lever and the DeLorean compacts into a suitcase.
Doc: Programmed only to open at the sound of my voice or Einstein's bark.
Marty attempts to pick up the suitcase.
Marty: Whoah... heavy...
Doc: Heavy indeed, 2796 pounds to be exact. After all, there's a car in there. But I've thought of that.
He places another case on the ground, which releases another vehicle, which picks up the DeLorean suitcase.
Doc: And it'll go wherever you tell it to.
The machine breaks under the weight of the DeLorean suitcase and explodes, sending the DeLorean suitcase flying.
Doc: Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!
He gets hit by the DeLorean suitcase, which turns back into a car. Doc is already inside.
Doc: Look what I've done inside the car. The time circuits are now audio-activated. For random example, February 7th, 1895, Baltimore, Maryland.
The destination time and location display change as he speaks.
Doc: Babe Ruth's birthday. Greatest baseball player who ever lived.
Marty: Hey, y- yeah, Doc, but I've really gotta cram. Dean Strickland'll throw me out of college if I flunk my civil war exam.
Marty leaves.
Doc: Ah, the civil war. A tragic moment from America's past. The powers of oppression and slavery versus the forces of freedom. The South, pitted against the North, brother against brother. Thank goodness those days are far behind us.
Jules (From above): You upstart overgrown immature parasitic lifeform!
Jules and Verne are fighting over a computer keyboard.
Verne: Give it here, you geek with a bad haircut!
Doc: I think I spoke too soon.
Verne: Gimme that, you said it was my turn!
Jules: Unhand that input device! My work is more important than your childish shenanigans!
Doc: Jules, Verne! What in the name of Sir Isaac H. Newton are you- Oh!
Verne bumps into Doc, who falls down the stairs.
Doc: Oucha magoucha. What is the problem with you two?
Verne: Dad, Jules said I could use the computer. And now he won't let me.
Jules: But father, I've almost completed my calculations, and a delay would be intolerable. I'm computing the logarithmic equivalents of the atomic waves of certain isotopes found in the lanthanides series of elements.
Doc: Again?
Verne: I'm trying to beat my all-time score in the legend of [...].
Doc: On the one hand Jules is on the eternal search for knowledge, on the other hand Verne is developing hand-eye coordination, which will come in handy in the world of the future. I'm telling you, Einstein, it isn't easy being a father.
Einstein: Woof.
Doc: Brilliant! Boys I think you've been spending too much time cooped up in this play-loft. Forget about the computer. Enjoy the fresh air of the great outdoors.
Jules: Zowee, I can gather more soil samples for my collection!
He jumps into some rocket boots, which propel him through a closed door and outside.
Doc: I've gotta get that door fixed.
Verne: Way to go, dad. You're always siding with Jules.
Doc: Ah Verney, that's not true.
Verne: Is so!
Doc: Is not.
Verne: Is so!
Doc: Is not!
Verne attemps to start his propeller hat, but it fails.
Doc: Wait a second, son, the fly-wheel needs tightening - now try it!
Verne flies off through the roof hatch.
Verne: Is so!
Doc: Verne Newton Brown! Don't you fly away from me while I'm talking to you!
Doc realizes he has run over the edge of the stairwell.
Doc: Aaaah!!!
He falls.
Holographic Tutor: ....Tennessee. This confederate measurement was wiped out just a day after this photograph was taken.
She attempts to make herself heard over Marty's guitar playing.
Holographic Tutor: Chattanooga, Tennessee, February 11th, 1864!
The date inputs itself into the DeLorean's time circuits.
EXT. Brown residence - Day
Verne: I'll just stay up here until I run out of gas. That'll show 'em.
The propeller hat stops working.
Verne: Uh oh. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-
He falls down towards the lab again.
INT. Brown Laboratory - Day
Marty is still playing the guitar and ignoring his holographic tutor.
Verne: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
He comes through the roof and lands on Marty.
Marty: Verne, come on, I was right in the middle of studying.
Verne: Marty, dad's always siding with Jules. When he was two, Jules used the etch-a-sketch to draw of model of the DNA molecule, whatever THAT is. And he's been dad's favorite ever since. They both treat me like a baby.
Marty: Verne, you're no baby. You're my main man. A macho dude. You're one of the guys.
Verne: Gee, thanks Marty! Can I borrow your hoverboard?
Marty: Get out of town, you're too little!
Verne: Okay, forget it!
Verne leaves.
Marty: Ah, Verne...
Verne approaches the DeLorean.
Verne: I'm not too little to drive the DeLorean.
He gets in and drives off.
Marty: Perfect.
EXT. Brown residence - Day
Doc is looking for Verne in the sky with a pair of binoculars and an extendable baseball glove.
Doc: Verne? Verne, where in the troposphere are you?
Verne drives out of the lab at a fast speed, straight towards Doc.
Doc: Aaaah!!!
The DeLorean hits the launch ramp and springs into the sky, where it time travels.
Doc: Great Scott. Verne!
EXT. Chattanooga, Tennessee - Night, 1864
The DeLorean appears, alerting two soldiers.
Verne: Aaaah!
Soldier: Whooahh! What is that?
Soldier 2: Must be some Yankee trick.
The E.L.B night vision device descends onto Verne's head.
Verne: Aaaaah!
The DeLorean stops. It has driven through a tent, which hides the car from the soldiers surrounding it. Verne pulls the night vision device off his head and pulls a lever. The DeLorean changes shape, soldier pulls the tent off it, to reveal Verne sitting next to a suitcase. They all point their guns at him.
Verne: Didn't your mothers tell you not to play with guns?
Beauregard: What is this wagon you woke me up to see?
Soldier: Well here's the driver, general. But the wagon's gone!
Verne: Biff Tannen?!
Beauregard: General Beauregard Tannen to you, buttocks brains.
Verne: Don't you mean 'Butthead'?
Beauregard: Hmmm, I like that. However, the question is, just who are you? Are you a spy? Or a new recruit?
Verne: Is there a third choice?
They point their guns at him again.
Verne: Sorry I asked.
INT. Brown Laboratory - Day, 1991
Marty: Oh, Doc, this is all my fault. I should've let Verne ride my hoverboard.
Doc and Jules are walking past famous world landmarks.
Jules: No Martin, I should have let him use the computer as promised.
Doc: Jules, Marty, there's no sense in blaming yourselves. The problem at hand is locating Verne's whereabouts. And this thought-inducing auto-pacer isn't helping at all.
The camera moves back to reveal that they haven't really been walking in front of world landmarks - just on a conveyor belt in front of a moving screen.
Einstein: Woof!
Doc: What is it, Einie?
Einstein: Woof!
Einstein prints a book from the computer, which shoots over to Doc.
Doc: You've found Verne? Ah! He's in the civil war!
The photograph mentioned earlier by the tutor is in the book, and Verne is in it.
Jules: Oh no! It says that these confederate soldiers were wiped out one day after this photograph was taken.
Doc: Great Scott - to the train!
Doc, Jules, Marty and Einstein go down into a tunnel in minecarts. It takes them to an undeground hangar where the train is kept.
INT. Train hangar - Day
Doc: Power up!
They get into the train and it rises on a hydraulic platform until level with the tracks.
Doc: Chattanooga, Tennessee. We're coming for you, Verney!
The train flies into the sky and time travels.
EXT. Chattanooga, Tennessee - Day, 1864
The train appears on the rails and keeps driving. Doc stops the train before a level crossing.
Jules: Whoah!
Marty: Oh, Doc. Over 125 years in six seconds, that's not too shabby!
Doc: Well, I had to ease up going around the turn of the century. Now, if my calculations are correct, we should be exactly 2.3 miles behind confederate lines. Marty, you and Einstein guard the train while Jules and I explore the territory.
Marty: Be careful, Doc. Don't let anybody sneak up on you.
Two soldiers have noticed the train and sneak up on Marty and Einstein.
EXT. Path - Day
Jules: Father, how are we ever to locate Verne?
Doc: The answer's right here, Jules.
He indicates the photograph in the book.
Doc: Find this farmhouse, and we find Verney.
EXT. Farmhouse - Day
The very same photograph has just been taken.
Photographer: Oh dear! A soldier on the end blinked!
Beauregard: Enough of this nonsense! Men, carry on with your drills!
Soldier: Maaaarch left! No, the other left...
Jimmy: Okay Verne, I'm supposed to learn how to be a drummer boy. Everything we play means something to the soldiers. This here means forward march. And this here means ready to fire.
Verne: Hey Jimmy, what does this mean?
Verne plays loudly on the drum and some nearby crockery.
Jimmy: I reckon it means you're making too much noise. The general's trying to sleep. Now for tomorrow's battle, we'll be standing right in the front lines. Soldiers gotta hear your drumming.
Verne: The Yankees won't shoot at us, will they?
Jimmy: Usually aim right for you.
Verne: But we're just kids?
Jimmy: War makes you grow up fast.
Verne runs away and tries to open the DeLorean suitcase.
Verne: Come on, come on! Open up, will ya?
EXT. Time train location - Day
The soldiers have captured Marty and Einstein. Einstein is blowing the train whistle to try and call for help.
Soldier: Get that vermin away from the whistle! He's going to have every Yank for miles around after us!
The other soldier puts Einstein down next to Marty, and ties him up.
Soldier 2: There, little doggie. Maybe now we can hijack this here train in peace.
EXT. Woods - Day
Jules: Father, the train whistle. It sounded like--
Doc: Yes, yes, morse code.
Jules: H... E... L...
Doc: Oh, that Marty. Making all that racket just to tell us 'Hello'.
Union Soldier: Howdy!
Doc: No, it was definitely 'Hello'.
Two union soldiers have surrounded Doc and Jules.
Doc and Jules: Aah!
Union Soldier: Looks like we caught ourselves a couple of deserters!
EXT. Confederate Camp - Night
They are eating around a campfire.
Verne: What is this stuff?
Eating soldier: Chipmunk stew.
Verne spits it out.
Eating soldier: Needs a pinch more dirt.
Jimmy: My mama - she makes a powerful good raspberry pie. I can just taste it right now.
Verne: My mom makes a great pizza. Jules loves pepperoni.
Jimmy: I was a foolish boy to run away and get into such a mess as this. I wish my papa would just come and drag me home.
A train whistle is heard and the Jules Verne train stops nearby.
Verne: There's my dad now!
He runs over.
Verne: Oh no!
Two soldiers were driving the train, with Marty and Einstein tied up.
Soldier: Wilcox reporting, General Taylor. Brought you a Yankee train, and two Yankee prisoners.
Soldier 2: One of them's a dog.
Beauregard: Men, throw this vermin in the pen with the other mongrels, and give him a bone to chew on.
Marty: Tough luck, Einie. What about me?
Beauregard: I was talking about you, Butthead!
INT. Pen - Night
Verne: Psst!
Marty: Oh Verne, am I glad to see you!
Verne: Yeah, me too. But now we're both trapped here.
Marty: Yeah, don't worry, your dad'll rescue us. He always comes up with the perfect idea.
EXT. Union Army camp - Night
Doc: Jules, I don't have the slightest idea what to do. Here we are, with the Union Army, and Verne's a confederate!
Jules: Father, we have to stop tomorrow's battle. It'll be a massacre. Verne could get killed!
Union soldier: Don't worry, friend. Ain't a general that's born that could stand up to Ulysses S. Clayton!
Jules: Ulysses S. Clayton? Hmmm. Father, isn't that my mother's uncle?
Doc: Yes, your mother's uncle, my uncle in-law, your grandfather's brother-in-law, your great-uncle, Verne's great uncle as well.
Jules: That's it! He'll stop the battle!
Doc: No, Jules! He'll never understand!
INT. Clayton's tent - Night
Snake oil salesman: General Clayton, your troubles are over. My amazing electrical magnetical machine will not only cure your rheumatism, but can also make your lower legs stronger and more shapely.
Clayton: Hmmm. Will it hurt?
Jules: General Clayton!
On entering, he accidentally activates the machine, which temporarily electrocutes the occupants of the tent.
Jules: General, you've got to stop the battle. Verne'll get hurt, and it'll all be my fault.
Clayton: What in blue blazers? Who is this soldier, soldier?
Jules: Private Jules Brown, General. Your great nephew.
Clayton: Great nephew? What particular brand of tomfoolery is this?
Jules: Your niece Clara is my mother.
Clayton: Why, little Clarabelle is only nine years old!
Doc: Jules!
Doc accidentally sets off the machine and the electricity turns on again.
Clayton: Get them out!
EXT. Union Camp - Night
Jules: Did you notice, father? He had mother's eyes.
Doc: No. But I did notice the electrical magnetical machine!
Jules: Antique electricity generator. Yes, very quaint.
Doc: And it gave me a great idea! Come on!
Doc and Jules steal the electrical magnetical machine. They lift a section of rail from the train tracks. They remove the wheels from a cannon.
EXT. Battlefield - Day
Confederate soldier: Well boy, you're wearing the uniform of the [...] how does it feel?
Marty: Actually I take a 32 slim, this baggy look is dead.
Beauregard: Hey boy, hush up that drumming!
Marty: Hey Verne, cut it out!
Verne: I'm not drumming!
The sound is actually coming from Verne's knees, which are shaking.
Einstein is trying to escape from the pole that he is tethered to.
Clayton: Men, the time has come to strike a blow for freedom.
Beauregard: The time has come to launch our attack! Prepare to--
Marty: Fellas, fellas, whoa, whoa! Chill out! You can't fight today! It's, uh, a national holiday!
Beauregard: What holiday?
Marty: Uh, Lincoln's birthday!
Beauregard: Charge!!!
Marty gets stampeded by the soldiers.
Suddenly, the soldiers' weapons fly out of their hands. They are attracted to a giant magnet that Jules and Doc have put on a hill.
Doc: The electromagnet works great! Keep cranking!
Jules is lifted off his feet by the speed of the crank's rotation and is flung into the air.
Jules: Yessssssss fatheeeeeeeeerrrrrrrr!
Jules lands in the middle of the battlefield and the crank stops rotating.
Doc: Great Scott!
The electromagnet stops working and all the weapons return to the soldiers.
Verne: Jules!
Verne runs to Jules. They are now between the two charging forces.
Doc: Jumping jigowatts!
Both forces suddenly stop feet from each other, only separated by Jules and Verne, who are holding onto each other in fear.
Jules and Verne: Aaaah!
Both armies: Awwww.
Confederate soldier: Ain't that sweet.
Beauregard: What in tarnation!
Doc: Don't you- can't you see? They're brothers!
Marty: Come on guys, I bet most of you have a brother, or an uncle, or somebody you love, fighting for the other side.
Jimmy: Hey cousin Roy.
A bald man on the other side responds.
Roy: Heya, cousin Jimmy.
The two sides stop being aggressive and hug each other instead.
Beauregard: Well, touching.
Verne: Fighting doesn't solve anything. Why don't we all just shake hands and go home?
Clayton: I believe the boy here has a point, Beauregard.
Einstein frees himself from his tether and runs over to the DeLorean suitcase.
Einstein: Woof.
Clayton: Men, General Tannen and I have reached an agreement. We shall set our differences behind us and work together.
Doc: Son, I'm proud of you.
Beauregard: Just long enough to run these troublemakers out of here!
Doc, Marty, Jules and Verne: Aaah!
Einstein arrives in the DeLorean.
Einstein: Woof.
He pulls a string that transforms the DeLorean into a four-door.
Marty: Well guys, we'd love to stay here and be massacred, but our ride's here.
They all get into the DeLorean.
Doc: To the train, Einie!
The DeLorean flies away.
INT. DeLorean in sky - Day
Jules: Verne, from now on you can use that computer whenever you wish. I'll just require 48 hours notice.
Marty: Whoa, look at this.
The photograph's caption in the book changes.
Marty: It says Verne's regiment never fought a single battle.
Doc: See Verney? You saved some lives.
Einstein: Woof.
Doc: Einie, you're right once again. It's time we headed back to the future.
The DeLorean flies into a compartment in the tender of the Jules Verne Train. The train time travels back to 1991.
INT. Doc's Workshop - Day
Assistant voice: Proceed with transmission, Dr. Brown.
Doc: Marty flunked his civil war exam. Turns out the test was on the Spanish civil war. That's what he gets for wearing headphones in class. Now for my electromagnetic demonstration.
Assistant voice: Warning, youthful viewers. Do not attempt this at home.
Doc: Wait a microsecond. Why didn't I think of this before. Accessing encyclopedia section E, for electromagnet.
Assistant voice: Section E. Entry: electromagnet.
Doc: Here's a way for you scientists from the future to make your own electromagnet with a few simple household items. This requires a screwdriver, as well as some insulated wire. Insulation is important, for without it, you might receive a shock. Note - the screwdriver initially has no magnetic charge. See? Now wrap the wire as tightly as possible around the screwdriver. And connect the ends to two batteries. Presto. An electromagnet, able to attract various metal objects such as paperclips.
Doc: Now, take a look at this! My new, super electromagnet! Powered by the Mr. Fusion from the DeLorean! This should create a virtual mega magnet capable of incredible strength!
He turns it on.
Doc: Every steel object in the immediate vicinity should now be attracted to the monster magnet.
Items begin flying to the magnet.
Doc: Paperclips. This silverware. Even the camera. Ah! The camera!!
The camera is attracted to the magnet and the picture goes black.
Doc: Hopefully I'll have this thing repaired by my next broadcast. See you in the future!